good by

i just want to go on record i do love +krissy lynn  and my mother with all my hart.

but i think i gave the city what they wanted just to end the herassment they are doing to me - now i will be either in jail or a nut farm - i hope to return here some day but i doubt i ever will - the city wants to take what life i ever had and trash it for some reason - i think all i had to do was say Glen's name again - like that is growns for locking me up - all well = i will miss you all badly - krissy please keep track on my mother Darnell K. Leonadr and help her if you can keep a roof over her head - i have no idea where they are going to live now - if i am right the city will not help my folks out for any reason.

the funny thing is i am a nobody why they wasted all this time on me i have no idea.

good by all.

it was nice meeting you +Boston BB

i left instructions that if my books ever get published to give my share of the profits to my mother and if she refuses to take it to give them to the homeless in New York - +krissy lynn  has been helping me co-write them and now its up to her if Phobia - Phobius to Phobia ever gets published - i believe it will.

in any event i am not talking about this again - what ever happens happens - personally i hope the herassment ends one way or the other.

please note thanks to the city i got spywhere in my computer system and well because of that never talk to me in the future again about shady deals - like some of you have done in the past or you might find a cop on your door step.

and the love i spoke of about +krissy is on a brotherly sisterly basic.

i believe

i believe that +krissy lynn  is correct - in order to understand love one must understand one's own self and love one's self first - in my case i have done a gate many things that i am very proud of and just as many things i wished i never thought of - love can be a blessing or a cures or both at the same time.

to truly love someone you first have to realize that your not on this world to apes others, do what you have to in order to survive and make no excuses for your actions = if the action is just and for the better good then others should except it so long as it doesn't hut or harm any others.

a person that respects life doesn't make excuses for that in which he lives - a godly amount of others believe that just because they wouldn't do something it must be wrong when someone actually does do them - the truth is nothing that can save lives and nothing that can better ones own life or better that of others or better yet better that lives of others while bettering your own is wrong.

true respect comes into play when people don't tell others what to do or how to do it = love comes in time - a stranger can date another stranger and see that they really do fit into one unity in much the same way one can date someone they grow up with thinking they have a lot in common only to learn in the end they can't really get along.

love is universal and love is unconditional, there is no other form of love = respect comes when people treat each other right and not in any other way.

to share one's live with someone is a very special thing = to share one's belief is common = but what is more common is to try to force others to do as you yourself wouldn't want to do.

some do that and say its for the better good like in my case - i got nerve damage and the doctors refuse to let me work and then they believe by making me sit on my ass day in and day out that i will live a longer life which isn't totally true for one does need exercise to stay fit.

and then the doctors aren't right all the time like in Randy's Dansby's case ( my older brother )
he had leukemia  the doctors he had said there was no cure known to man yet and none was distend to be discovered for years to come, that had happened in the early 80's he passed as many of you know from several of my earlier blogs but what people may not actually know about is with in a few short months maybe one year or two after he passed they announced they had found the cure for what he had.

i for one believe that i should be able to work sense i got two good arms and two working legs - that is about all i really need to make a living but the doctors disagree with me on that.

so i have to ask with so many people forcing so many people to do things that they wouldn't do otherwise how can on truly love themselves when they are forced to do things they don't want to do?

the problem is the actions of others does some times play apart on each persons own actions - in fact in my exasperating of life i had noticed that for every action some one has made on me has caused a reaction by me and some reactions are long term actions and stick around for long times.

i love society

from day one i always wanted to change my name never had the money.

i always wanted just a small peace of land never had the money.

i would love to eat out once in awhile i still haven't got the money.

there are many things that i would love to get or do but as always i never had the money.

i'm sure most people feel the same way as i do which is to say currency is the embodiment of pure evil but yet people world wide still worship currency with all its joy.

people can't ever go by the name they themselves choose with out having to pay a couple of hundred dollars for the privilege = people are striving on the street, people have no home and people has no medical, all in the name of currency and what is currency really.

lets annualized that a bit.

money can be a single sheet of colored paper, it can be just a simple piece of mettle - what makes it a valued item = just the fact that people mine gold, silver, copper and things like that and use that to back up the so called currency.

well to my knowledge about all gold is wroth in reality is maybe a few pennies, it can be used for jewelry it can be used to decorate things and yah its a gorgeous mineral but it has very few uses.

the same with silver - in fact the only thing that makes them worth anything is the fact that they are suppose to be rear - and that is why people fought and died over owning it - lol - leave it to  man to fight over a useless peace of rock - because that is all it really is.

like it or not i have a aviation to worshiping something that people can't really use and that is just the truth,

so again i have to say i love society they sure love to make a big deal out of nothing at all.

the fear is gone

the worrying is over the book has arrived where i sent it and now i got more hope then i ever did - maybe my life can take a turn for the best now and i can once again be happy - its been much too long sense i had a really good reason too smile - i admit finding my races writing did help me on to that path though = as Spock always says = live long and prosper.

ugg

I'm reaching panic mod again - my books are in a fed x truck or plain somewhere and they are late for delivery - if they arrive then all is good and cool but if they end up lost then that means i lost over 10 years of my life trying to be a writer - god i hope and pray they show up at +krissy lynn  place tomorrow before i start to panic if they don't that will mean they are two days late.

i don't have a second copy for most of it either.

as i was

as i was growing up i had the grate idea to do my part for my country so i went to the Main FBI offices in Colorado on the 13th floor of the federal building = at the time i was 9 years old and i wanted to work for them = the nice friendly man smiled and simply told me to come back when i graduated school = back them my hearing was 15 times better then it is now and right now my hearing is good enough for me to hear a pen drop in the next room on a carpet - right now i am very assailable to the higher sound and lower sounds around me - according to the hearing doctor i seen about 5 or 10 years ago - but i have been slowly losing my hearing over the course of time too, so who really knows where it is at now - personally i don't really care as long as i can still hear what is going on around me when it comes to my hearing i am in fact going to be happy.

if the FBI back then would have tested me on my abilities then life might have been very different now but hind sight is twenty twenty and not worth stressing over in the current time.

i still have the appulaction in my collectible toats somewhere.

lol

lol i just found out minimal wage in Oregon was raised to 15 dollars an hour.
 before i got put on disability i earned like 7 an hour and that was like getting 2 or 3 dollars more then minimal wage back then - when i got put on disability i got one third of what i was bringing in a year at that time and that is where i stand now = that means that still being on disability like i am and still getting that amount yearly i am now earning less then 2 % of what i was earning back then now - good god one just has to love the good old America and its government = right?

well on the road to recovery

that you all that stuck around me when i was going through my mantle brake down and many panic attacks.

i am not full over them yet but my mantle breakdown is all but gone.

as i told a friend or two i'm an open book for the most part.

i prefer to just say things as they are and take the consequences as they come about.

the timing about telling the lady i like her that i like couldn't have been worse but it i guess had to be done anyway and i am quite glad she knows the truth now.

i lost several friends the last few months do to my panic attack and brake down - several of the attacks can be seen in the blogs as everyone knows, mostly on Google Plus - the only one that had any reason to dump me is still my friend though and that is the lady i admitted i liked.

 right now i am researching romance i hope - too much jewels might end that though lol - as a friend had asked me = Are you researching romance for books as in understanding the romance genre or for writing a romance in any other stories? = and here was my reply - for both other stories, a novel and i hope for picking up in real life what i am fucking up on - its research that covers all aspects of romance = never having the privilege to experience it personally i have nothing to go by for books and so its a all out thing - but mostly its for my books and the research is at the moment being done by what is called a RP with one very, very, very good femail friend  ts a game played by two people or more - a lady friend that is under age compared to me has volunteered to help me out in a one on one rp setting of it - for all the reasons stated above.

i hear its not the same thing as the real thing i'm afraid but its better then nothing.

so i am making an effort here and there to better my situation to the best i can but it only prove my point though - i get along better with young kids then i do with those my own age - with a few exception to the rule that is.


people in their 80's and 90's and anyone under the age 18 i always got along with everyone else i tended to get into fist fights with so after awhile growing up i avoided them like the plague. i just don't know why and until i got online i had little to no conversations with people my own age.

but it don't help with dating either = i have the rule never to date a kid and to stay within 10 or if the lady is over 18, stay within 20 years of my age - to date every lady i liked well enough to do that with has messed with me mentally - so it is a lossing cause i'm afraid = that is everyone but the last one that i said i liked and she is the only one that really had a reason to do so.

still now that i no longer have to worry about the things that was causing most the panic attacks i am getting back on my feet - true i'm still deep in debt and i still have yet to get one single date with a lady but everything else has more or less went away, just a heads up though, over 75 % of my friends are ladies online and off - i never have a problem with any of them until i ask one out then all hell brakes out - although i know more secrets from ladies about their boyfriends and or husbands then i care to admit usually before i ask any one of them out lol - and every time i do something has to happen - in this case and i know the newest lady i said i liked had nothing to do with it but it still happened - i now have spyware in my computer system - i know because i took my computer in to be fixed not long ago and it took longer then they said it would - plus i always look through every aspect of my computer when i get it back one can't be too careful - anyway now i got a untitled file of masive size in my computer - and well to me its a open computer and i'm more or less a open book - so if you don't want the world to know about your secretes don't tell me about them until i get me a new computer and that will be in many many years if at all - with my fiancees the way they are anyway.

A pomn by my mother

time's not flying, i'm not having fun, sitting and waiting for a call form my son.

he's really been working to take in a dime and he's been doing a lot of over time.

for all of his labor he's feeling quite grim but he can be certain Uncle sam's loving him and then there is storus who's pacing the floor not showing much patience to get out the door.

louis is snug as lump in the bed, covers to warm him, a pillow for his head and me at the table.

the realization of my stories.

i just got done talking about my books and i didn't realize just how much is going to have to go into them until today - lol - i knew the idea has never been done before but the technol aspect of it is killing me.

the good news Krissy is co-writing my books with me now and i just sent her my only copy of the outline.

 so she will see how the story unfolds i have at this moment about 6 of the outlines made and the over all outline - the hard part is keeping all the main books and short stories in sink with the over all story and each other - the whole story is written to be a life time of stories over the same civilization its written about.

 all 10000 or more possible book has to jive with the main stories and over all story, that will be hell to do - basically i am creating a full historical story based on this planet much like earth has its main stories and everyone's elses falls between the cracks.

 she is just now realizing i wasn't joking about the challenges laid down before me as a writer to make the story unfold - to-date i never heard of a writer that ever tried to do this.

i mailed to krissy fed x my story yesterday.

i sent her the only two reviews i had done on them - basically they both said Phobia sounds by tital like a thriller but the book come across like a sleeping pill - the reason they say is Phobia followed Archaeology too closely with site to site visitation - lol - to date Krissy is the only one that read Phobius to Phobia and that is i think what helped her decide to co-write the books but i have no idea

the thing is Phobia marks the time the civilization i'm writing about starts out into outer space - they needed Archaeology in the space force to do that job and that is why P.A.S.C.O. created the deviation called Space Archaeology that book is about.

  the book that introduces Tarah ( My cat ) as a space walker - lol - the book Phobius to Phobia marks the opening of the reef, the turn from what we know now to space times and the begging of the world its about uniting under one government.

 the Arkondian's government is a mix of all the earth known major governments combined to form one.

further more the story begging where it ends in the over all out line anyway.

right now i am trying to get the first 5 main stories write and krissy said she would co-write the Phobius to Phobia book maybe the Phobia book to.

 its engineered to allow me to write about any genera on earth at any time i wish to all based on that civilization but the short stories has to fall between the 5 main stories and all the 5 main stories has to fit in the civilizations history outline of the over all story.

its a puzzle of life,  it is really and for a man with a learning disorder its a bitch to try let alone do.

 like i said though no other writer in history ever tried to do this, there are countless books based on earth history but written by a grate many people.

 i am writing the history books of a fantasy world that starts in space loses their knowledge and over time gains a new set of knowledge back and ends in space again.

 so it starts in a sifi setting goes to a fantasy setting and ends in sifi setting again.

anyway in amounts all the 5 main stories falls all the other type of genera mysteries and every other kind of immagionable lol.

 Phobius to Phobia has two groups of romance going on in it at the same time, it tells about the Arkondian governmental stretcher and spy networks.

 its was a bitch to get what i got and i'm afraid a man that never experienced romance has no idea what to say or do in romance stories so my romance story lines such in it. 

to further the plot the Arkondian's don't see currency in the same light or other things like war,  they never got into a fight, they hid from all the other races on the world until the opening of the reef to avoid wars.

 they got two generations more advance technologies then all the other races out side of the reef and those out side the reef uses currency and fight wars most the time.

those over the reef are based on earth while the Arkondais by very nature are buck ass backwards.

in this case i got the world history and then each individual book story - they all have to bind together like cool aid and water do and the 5 main stories is like telling earths world war stories as the main story binders, then filling in the gaps with stories we'll say yours, Abe Lincoln, Ronald Ragon's, Black beards and so on.

its the ideal society in an imperfect world, its the world i created and lived in for birth and for many many of years before i tore down the mental wall that separated reality from fiction.

even i didn't quite realize the full impact of the type of story i was planing until today - i don't see how she could have - but Krissy is a incredibly smart lady and she may have.

as +ShadowWolf_VG  put it and i fully agree with she is a genus.

lol - we'll see if it becomes reality? and with +krissy lynn  help it will be.

the grass

the grass is green but the sky ain't blue its pretty wet and windy too.

all in all a very good day to stay in bed till it goes away.

mother nature you see the date?

your April showers are really late.

where's the flowers where's the sun it seems to me its time for fun.

i know its normal for Oregon but some of us could use some sun.

all I'm asking is warmer weather so i just need one shirt and sweater.

to my friend

my friend we've been through quite a lot when things were fun, and some were not because it seems

that mostly we don't agree because your you and i am me.

its true we're different as night and day we clash in ever sort of way.

its odd the things in which we share i guess it shows we really do care but friend, i feel there is

danger ahead and i must say what must be said, the way i am, i must explain its not that way to cause

you pain where you reach out to touch someone when you are sad, or having fun that is something i

do not share for i am content to know your there.

i need no contact to know your there, i need no contact to feel your love is there, its warm as the sun

above at times i feel i am quite alone and like to talk on the telephone.

there is many things we could say that won't upset each others day.

the weather, the dog and even us but don't choose things to cause a fuss for i can't sit there very long

 and not say things i know are wrong.

our tempers rise and we get mad then we fight and both are sad.

don't get me wrong, its not just you i know a lot of its me too because we have been friends for years

shouldn't we not avoid such things so we don't feel the pain it brings.

our past together friendship binds years of memories of all kinds.

i won't allow for us part so let us plan for a brand new start i'll hold your feeling close to mine and

keep them safe till the end of time i thank you that we are friends we'll stay that way until the end.

been told

i been told many things over the years mostly what not to do or what i can't do lol truth is if the laws allowed me to do them i tended to do them anyway = i helped my uncle's 3 of them in total rebuild each of their homes from the ground up - well my uncle in Colorado i helped remodel his front room turned it from a stone like room in to a sun room - the uncle i believe in Colorado springs i help a bit there but in cloverdaile Oregon it was total rebuild - the whole home - man where those the days.

i had friends in several states that had their own projects going on and i was lucky enough to help out with them.

like i said i am no expert in doing anything but i can hold my own - if my luck did turn for the best to the good yesterday like i hope - them i should be able to dig my way out of debt soon we'll see if it has - and if +krissy lynn  would allow me to be a friend for life she has one - finding the writings of my 4 races when i swore was part of what we had in the past turned to fire starter was a good stroke of fourtian i hope it stays going in that direction - its been awhile sense i been this happy and it would be nice to get back permanently to my old self - i know many of you would like that too - just know i am not getting back into online games - that is what started my fall and i am not repeating that again as for offline games that will be cool.

my dreams still haven't changed any though and i still strive to reach those goals.

life can send people through some hell, a hell amount of curve balls at that - nature - god - i don't care which i pray for a bigger merical i still need work or i will go under soon.

as for everyone else please keep your figures crossed for me on that point.

music is something i think should be in everyone life, building can be on paper in a form of a drawing or putting together a bike or making a home to live in so that if you know it or not it is apart of everyone's life - i just want it more in my life then most people care for,

the way things stand i can't get that - the way yesterday went gave me hope not in one way but in three ways.

my books gave me two direction in one move and then there was a sign of hope that is privet,

life is not good at the moment for me and its as you all know very hard but its got to be something that works - they say that nature or god don't give people things they can't handle - well in my case it has been proven true for the most part although there are time i wish i had a different life as a whole.

a grate many things bring back memories of the old days and yes i tend to live in the past but i never stop looking ahead to see where and how i will go and get there,

maybe my life is about to take a 360 again and place me on the gaming field figuratively speaking.

although i doubt that will happen not with the oaths i had taken in my past - but anything is possible.

a time to

there is a time for everything - right now its a time to rhyme and enjoy the lime.

nature

this is a - i guess a old segment of my book that never made it into the books - it was and is in my book outline but it really has nothing to do with the books - its just a scribble i did back in 1997

in the day, under the suns ray's the birds love to fly and play.

in the night the owls like to take flight and with their sight all is right.

the lands all love the light and the misty trees of the night feeds the plaints just right.

for in the end the whole of life may just be happening within the balance.

and man just might be left alone to live instead of vanishing off the world like their predecessors had in the past giving man a new way to play throughout the lands and world.

talk about work

i know putting my outline on computer would be work but good god its been and still is a work in progress - google doc keeps changing the whole story but without the voice command i couldn't do it - at least she +krissy lynn will get a good rendition of it as it is now.

there is about 20 pages to my over all generalized story outline which i am putting on the computer now - it drakes down the generations as for what they become known for and then as i write about each generation i have to make up a outline for each of the generation in turn that fits into the one she is getting - i bet she never realized what she was getting into when my books come into play but she can if anyone can make the whole story - stories = work, i know how they go but i have no idea how to put them onto paper or in this case computer - the good news is notebook paper is larger print then a computer so the computer is basically zip-driving the story to a smaller fit, so it may not look as big as it really is. lol

will mericals never cease

talking to the lady that is willing to co-write my books she asked for the over all story out line of my books - i told her i had that years ago but its on paper and i can't get it onto computer so now i can send the whole story to her viea U.S. Mail and i went tearing through my collectible touts trying to get what i had put into a box to mail her.

i have yet to find the Arkondian maps that belong to the story - i took them out a few months ago to post them online and well apparently i lost them but in my vendever to find those maps i found the 4 languages writing i created for the races that make up the Phobian's on Arkonda and i beleived they became fire tender years ago - oh my god this is going to be a day to remember for life thank you +krissy lynn  for all you have done in the past few years and about to do in the future - just for getting me to find something that by all rights should have been destroyed years ago is to me just one true merical - they are on their way with in the week i promess - i am happier now then i have been in the past several months - the last time i remember being this happy was back in the year 1981 when i first started the world i lived in which included the writings in the Phobians world because that is where i mentally lived my life for years growing up - lol - i own you more the you know now.

i made a post to show them off - i hope every one can figure them out but the way i have to get them into the computer isn't the best way invented = i wish i could scan them but i don't have a working scanner any more.

on google and fb.

i love building and so i am going to add to my list of sharing building videos - on google plus and fb - sense all i can do is dream about being able to do it i will be showing off other peoples work.

the same applies to how to on art.

the lady

the lady that owned the studio was a good person, Quiet waters studios is right around the corner from me and i wish i had the money to buy some of her work - i don't remember when but the world artist that painted here passed away and good god she was good.

Quiet Water Art Studio & Gallery  


Art Gallery
Address: 89190 Sherwood Island Rd, Florence, OR 97439 Phone:(541) 997-8940 i have no idea if her husband is selling her stuff nor do i know if the phone number is still active but i wish him and his family the best.

a copy of a section of the book the green pharmacy

a copy section of the book the green Pharmacy a grate herb book.

putting safety first

i'll be the first to admit that herbal medicines is not risk free.

to benefit from using herbs, you need to have some basic background information.

then you need to have confidence in the herbs you use and in any herbal practitioner you consult.

 this is no different from conventional medicines, where you need to have confidence in your physicians and pharmaceuticals you take.

as a rule, however, rational herbal medicines is safer then conventional medicine because the medicines are more dilute and side effects tend to be less severe.

but you still have to exercise cation when using herbal medicines.

you also need to understand that things can go wrong.

there are a number of strategies that you can use to protect yourself.

first of all, get the right stuff.

unless you are absolutely sure of an herb's identity, don't take it.

this rule applies mainly to people who are picking herbs in the wild, of course.

people have been known to eat poisonous or dangerous plants simply because they misidentified an herb and took something other than what they thought they were taking.

the classic killer is poision hemlock, which looks rather like wild parsley or wild parsnip.