i spent close too 45 years just trying to get three simple things 1 a peace of land 2 a wife 3 kids of my own

well now i am done with trying to get a wife, or kids = sorry ladies = i know its hart braking to say the least.

here is how my life is right now in a nut shell; i restart my account under Cidian Ronny CoBurn on Google Plus but in the end i have more or less only family on fb and a few good friends - the family never contacts me in any way with a few exceptions and it was because of them that i created my facebook account to begin with.

sense they refuse to even say hi to me - i told one of my cousin to tell the rest if they so much as wish to say anything to me they need to learn how to use a phone - google plus though i restarted and we'll see where it goes from there.

i had wrote a simple story about my stubbornness and knowledge - that point is living in the attic tundra would be a snap - and for me it will be - only now i found out that it might be partly true because now i know that Canada is still doing land grabs and if they are willing i asked for the right to take part in that - so part of it may come true if the fucking United States stays out of it.

here in the states the doctors say i can't even lift a fork much less build a log home and without a work release i can't get a job, no one will hire me to do anything - S.S.D. is giving me pennies a month to live on and - i can't pay my bills on that without my mother and step father's help and well mother will not live forever and neither will my father so if Canada says sure i am going straight up there for life.

every lady i ever liked either said yes and nothing has ever come from it or they said no and moved out of the area for good, even the ones that said yes and never gave me a chance instead they too moved out before i got one hamburger to share with them but its expected - there is a reason why i am about 45 and never had sex and never been married.

in my case its not that i am not willing its the fact that if i do i will brake my ultamit word - that will not happen = i promised my brother Randy at age 9 as he died on my uncles couch in my uncles front room in front of me that i wouldn't do that until i get married and by god and or nature i will not brake my word for nothing - that is it in a nut shell.

my life isn't connected to the net, i am from the generation that could live without computers and technology in general.

for me as of last month - i decided that a life in the tundra is preferd, if Canada says yes then it going to be leagle, but if no then i will see who else might give me a land grab option or maybe even just make my way to a totally unpopulated area to live my life totally by myself = i had had it with most of civilization anyway and here is why.

i am not sacrificing anything but technology = as i said i know how to live in just about any condition on earth = some more then others.

i was born in the city raised by my mother but spent my life talking to and learning from ww2 vets and i also lived on a farm and ranch for many of years.

so i have all the needed knowledge to pull it off, i spent two years as a wild-land firefighter and i spent two years cooking for thousands of people.

i am a city slicker to boot so living with the bear minimal is nothing, all my life i spent just one step from the street because every extra penny i got went to help those on the street.

a little snow and ice doesn't scare me any lol if canada says yes i will in the end get back on the net with people i like.

if they say no i will just vanish.

the point is i will not be sitting on my bed doing nothing for the rest of my life and maybe i can make enough money to be able to have a family of my own someday.

i will own my own land and be working it, i applied for HUD awhile back and was denied because then i didn't believe in credit cards and was told i had no credit to get credit.

so i built up my credit and then the United states shot down HUD shortly after that fanny may got housing here in Florence and even with my step father co-signing for the loan i was denied because i was too old to be as they put it able to pay off the loan before i died.

the bank i got will not give me a consolidation loan because now i'm too far stretch out and to them a big risk - so that they say is that.

but that is the states, and now i'm going to get out as soon as i can.

i am stuck here because of my mother's health isn't good and other then her i have no dependents that depend on me and so when she moves on i will too. to me items mean nothing family is everything

the funny thing about Oregon i don't know about the rest of the states but in Oregon if you apply for a job you have to get a doctors reliese form to prove you can work.

the doctors won't give me one, so no job, plus i am a naturist i prefer herbs over pills but the doctors say you take what we give you or we will tell S,S,D, and S,S,D, says do as the doctors say or loss your income.

that is how i live here now.

anyway once mother passes, i won't afford much of anything much less a pot to piss in so one way or the other the street is where i am heading.

if i have to be there it might as well be in the tundra where i can make my own hut for shelter, lol, if i leave her now that is where she will be.

so all three of our income goes into one pile and that is how we are staying afloat, here is the biggest funniest thing, my mother was getting about 750 a month on disability when my step dad was earning about 7.40 an hour for 8 hours 5 days a week.

now forced on to retirement my step father gets about what i get and S,S,D, took all but 25 dollars from my mother because my step dad earns too much and they were told if they get a divorce mother will get more.

they will not do that.

lol and they are complaining on the divorce rate being too high, added to the fact that for the past 2 or 3 years because gas hasn't gone up the cost of living hasn't, so we don't get a raise, not to mention S.S.D. and S.S.A. has been bitching that they don't have the money to pay those on the programs but the senent and congress keep taking the money people pay into those programs to pave the roads that drivers are bitching about and not willing to pay to get fixed themselves.

it don't pay to be on disability or social security.

so you see my point - the states in the end is out - unless by some merical i get tied down by marriage and that won't happen until i own my own land and well that is what is happening right now with us.

life - is life - and this is why i say life sucks in today's day and age.

anyway i need a brake from civilization - or i need to just loss myself in time.